“I want you to teach me how to fight.”
Rajan stood in front of the couch with a serious look on his face. Wolfgang looked from the TV to him and lowered the volume to a soft mumble, the host was wearing a beautiful teal dress that made her look washed out; Kala would look more beautiful in that color with her rich, brown skin. Kala glanced up from the book she was reading and tilted her head. “Where is this coming from, Rajan?”
Wolfgang lived with Kala’s voice inside his head —for the over a year, she had been there every day— yet he was still drawn to her soft-spoken words, full of kindness with an undercurrent of fierce fire. Whenever she said Rajan or Wolfgang, one could feel the love and protectiveness she radiated.
“I think it would be a good idea.”
Rajan didn’t say it, but there was something bothering him. Wolfgang liked to think of himself as fairly good at reading people —at least after acquiring some of Will’s critical eye and Nomi’s quick mind—, but Rajan was always a bit of a puzzle. Wolfgang believed his sensate connections spoiled his sixth sense for reading people without having a direct line to their brain, but it might just be that Rajan himself was a mystery to be uncovered under filthy kisses and hungry hands.
“Are you planning on pissing someone off?” Wolfgang asked, trying to lighten some of the tension on Rajan’s shoulders.
Kala, however, caught on faster. “If this is about the other night, Rajan, then you shouldn’t worry. Sun’s got me covered.”
“I got you both covered,” he added, hoping it was enough. In the end, it was Wolfgang’s fault they’d been attacked in the first place.
“But I need to know,” Rajan paced back and forth running a hand through his hair. “After that time in Napoli, I haven’t even touched a gun. I don’t know how to help you.”
Kala threw a worried glance at Wolfgang but focused back on Rajan immediately. “Rajan, you don’t have to—”
“I do. I have to. If I can’t protect myself, then I am a liability,” his wild-eyed look was what got to Wolfgang. He was familiar with the frustration of wanting to protect his family but being unable to do so. Wolfgang often wondered how he could repay Rajan all he’d done for him; this looked like it could fit the bill.
“Alright, I’ll teach you.”
Kala turned to him, pleading, “Wolfgang—”
“I’m not saying I’ll let him fight my battles. I’m saying it wouldn’t do any harm.”
“This isn’t a good idea,” it was her turn to pace the room, still sitting down next to him, but visiting in an anxious mood. Wolfgang didn’t turn to her, he didn’t want Rajan to feel out of the loop. “He’s going to get hurt. I can- We can keep him safe.”
“You can’t be around him 24/7,” he stood in front of her, grabbing her by the shoulders to stop her from pacing. Out loud, keeping his eyes on Rajan, he said: “I’ll teach you to fight, I’ll teach you to fire a gun, but you gotta promise me, you’ll give me a chance to take care of whoever’s giving you a rough time first.”
Rajan always looked shocked to hear Wolfgang would fight for him. He didn’t know what part of Kala loves you and I love Kala; I would do anything for her couldn’t get through Rajan’s thick skull. For such a smart man, he could be quite dense. Wolfgang didn’t give himself a moment to dwell on what he felt for Rajan because there was no time for that.
Kala was back in her body and she stood up with a tired sigh. “Fine. But I’m not picking him up.”
“You’re not coming?” Wolfgang asked, but he didn’t need a psychic connection to know Kala was going to stay with them no matter what.
“Don’t ask me things you know the answer to,” she took her shoes off and pushed the coffee table out of the way with her foot, gaining a look from both of them. “Rajan, are you going to stand there or are you going to learn?”
“My wife,” his warm voice was full of love in a way that tightened his stomach. Once again, Wolfgang spared a thought to the way he didn’t fit in here —with them—, but it was fleeting as Kala widened her stance and rolled her shoulders.
“You don’t know how to fight,” he said, cocking his head at her.
“No. But you do.”
With a smile, he stood up and took off his jacket. Rajan followed suit and Wolfgang once again marveled at his soft edges, his warmth, his strength. He didn’t need control or power over other people to be content, he found joy in other people’s happiness and their freedom to make their own choices. Wolfgang had to control his feelings —whatever they were— before they spilled over the bond and Kala would give him that funny look she had sometimes when she looked at them after they fucked.
He gave a last appreciative look to Rajan and turned to Kala, already in fighting stance. “Just the basics tonight, there’s no rush.”
“Yeah, footwork and deflection. I’m not crazy, Wolfgang.”
Rajan glanced between the two of them and said “this is incredibly sexy of both of you, and we’ll have words about it later.”
The way he said it implied there’d be more than words to be had and Wolfgang had to fight the impulse to call the whole thing off and take them to the room. When he noticed Kala’s knowing grin, he schooled his face into a neutral expression.
“Feet apart, shoulder-wide, weight evenly balanced on both feet,” Wolfgang instructed, echoing Kala’s position. “You want to keep most of your weight on your back foot.”
Rajan was quick to mirror his position and lift his arms weakly.
“Hands up, Rajan,” Kala showed him with her own hands, bringing them right under her chin.
“Tuck your chin in,” Wolfgang circled around Rajan to get a better view of his footwork, then moved his right foot forward with a nudge. “You need to keep moving. Don’t give your opponent a chance to get a hit in.”
“You don’t move around much when you fight,” Rajan observed, but did as he was told, changing his weight from foot to foot. Wolfgang could see at least six ways to bring him down, but he didn’t say anything as Kala came closer, shifting Rajan’s left hand slightly. Wolfgang loved the serious look in her face.
“Pay attention, Rajan. I said hands up.”
“I know how to take a punch,” Wolfgang added as an afterthought. Rajan frowned at him, a question at the tip of his tongue. He didn’t let him get that far, “you can block a fist, but you should focus on dodging for now.”
They continued with the small adjustments until Rajan felt comfortable enough to throw a punch in the air. His form wasn’t terrible and Wolfgang let him swing at the air a couple of times before correcting his posture.
“This is a lot of work for a punch.” He looked at Wolfgang like he was seeing him for the first time. “Did you really learn like this?”
Wolfgang couldn’t keep the grimace out of his face at being reminded of his father. Kala was quick to intervene. “Come on, let’s go through that sequence again.”
He stood behind Rajan and adjusted his stance, rolling his shoulders back, his hands lingering on Rajan a moment longer than necessary. “You need to keep your back straight or you’ll fuck up your balance.”
Kala gave him a knowing smile, biting the corner of her lips when Wolfgang guided Rajan’s arm into the perfect punch. Rajan, for his part, was an enthusiastic learner, leaning back into him when Wolfgang was close. The heat running through him was distracting, but so were Kala’s thoughts of soft sheets and supple limbs warmed by the morning sun.
Cut it out, he thought in Kala’s direction.
“But you two look so good like that.” If it weren’t because he had never seen anyone in the cluster but Lito pout, he would’ve thought Kala was throwing a tantrum. The worst part was how it worked on him.
“Rajan wants to learn,” but he ran a distracted hand up Rajan’s arm, making the man turn his head to Wolfgang.
“What’s she saying?” If Wolfgang’s eyes went immediately to Rajan’s lips, that’s nobody’s business but his own.
“She’s not saying anything. She’s thinking too loud,” he knew he was staring but Rajan looked as affected as Wolfgang was.
Kala took them out of their moment clearing her throat. “I thought Rajan wanted to learn?”
“I do, I do.”
“Then, let’s have a go.”
Rajan looked at her like she was crazy. “Kala, my love, I don’t want to fight you.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “It’s not because I don’t think you’re capable, I know you are, it’s just—”
“It’s what, Rajan?”
Rajan looked between the both of them looking for an answer. Wolfgang thought Kala’s offended face was as adorable as Rajan’s silent cry for help.
“I think you should fight Kala,” he fought to keep a smirk off his face when Rajan realized there was no getting out of this. “She’s light and quick. You can fight me next if you can block her punch.”
Rajan swallowed and rolled his shoulders to steel himself, going back to the stance they’d practiced before. Kala mirrored his movements with ease, some of Wolfgang’s own enjoyment for a fight flowed into her and she smiled.
Rajan threw a hesitant punch in the air, stopping just shy of Kala. Wolfgang’s chest felt tight with something. He didn’t want to name the feeling in the hopes that Kala would remain unaware of it. This man didn’t even want to pretend to hurt his wife, it was a stark contrast to the relationships Wolfgang grew up around. Rajan respected Kala —he loved her— and it was visible in every single one of his movements.
“Rajan—”
“I’m psyching myself up, give me a minute,” Rajan punched the air a couple more times, keeping his distance from Kala.
Wolfgang and Kala exchanged a quick look. “Rajan.”
“No, no, I’ve got this.” He murmured to himself in soft Hindi, “chalo, chalo, Rajan. Aap karsakte ho.”
Come on. Come on, Rajan. You can do this.
Wolfgang hid his smile lowering his chin. His thoughts about Rajan were too close to the surface, if he wasn’t careful, he’d have half the cluster teasing him about it. Right now, it was easier to focus on Kala’s soft joy humming through their bond to stay grounded to this room.
“What if we focus on blocking and deflecting?” Wolfgang found himself suggesting.
“Yes, let’s do that. I can do that.”
Kala’s exhausted sigh was a thing of beauty. For all she claimed to hate violence, she was still connected to Wolfgang, to Will, to Sun, all of whom enjoyed the thrill of a good fight. Wolfgang loved the fire inside of her. She flipped her hair out of the way as she said, “tighten your core. Use your whole body.”
Rajan did as he was told and breathed in, steeling himself for the punch. Without warning, Kala swung with her right hand directly to Rajan’s jaw.
Wolfgang felt stupid for not seeing it, but in hindsight, he should’ve guessed Rajan would freeze. He was not accustomed to fight for his life, he had no idea what to watch out for, he didn’t have decades of practice in the art of survival.
In all fairness, he didn’t expect Kala to hit so hard either.
Glad to be by his side keeping an eye on his movements, Wolfgang rushed to catch Rajan before he hit his head as he fell, lowering him gently to the floor.
“Oh my god, Rajan,” Kala was by their side in a moment, touching his face for a fracture with trembling hands. “Oh, Ganesha.”
Wolfgang examined Rajan’s slack face and worry surged through him. This wasn’t Kala’s doing either, it was entirely him. Kala quickly checked his pupils and his breathing.
“Help me put him in recovery position.”
He rolled Rajan’s body to the side, being extra careful with his head. Wolfgang briefly let Kala share his body to lightly tilt Rajan’s head and check for his breathing again. When Kala went back to her body, he kept his hand on Rajan’s cheek. She was in the process of bending his leg in a better angle when Rajan groaned.
“Easy, easy, Rajan,” Wolfgang heard himself speaking Hindi, but it didn’t register as odd until Rajan focused on him.
“What happened?” he kept his eyes on Wolfgang as he came to, slowly blinking the confusion away.
“Rajan! You said you could block!” Kala’s relief filled him and knowing Kala wasn’t worried enough to rush them to a hospital made Wolfgang relax a bit. He softly stroked Rajan’s cheek, his finger tingling with the sting of his beard.
Rajan’s hand came up weakly to touch his own chin, brushing against Wolfgang’s hand. “How long has it been?”
“Just a moment,” he replied, he could feel Kala’s eyes on them, her shame at her own surge of violence, her reluctance to comfort Rajan as guilt overflowed their bond.
“I’m so sorry, Rajan. I really thought you’d dodge.”
Rajan frowned and rolled onto his back, fully opening his eyes to look at Kala. “My wife.”
Kala caught the hand he couldn’t quite lift in her direction. “What day is it?”
“Sunday.”
“What year is it?”
“2019.”
“Who’s—”
“Kala, I’m fine.” Wolfgang could feel the slight pressure of Rajan’s fingers against Kala’s hand, reassurance that was lost in Kala’s anxious brain.
Without letting go of Rajan’s hand he was still holding, he visited next to Kala wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Rajan glanced between the two of them when Kala’s body leaned into empty space. Kala mumbled something against his chest but Wolfgang couldn’t make sense of it, splitting his attention between the two of them.
He called Kala’s name out loud, but it was Rajan’s voice that made her look up. Wolfgang knew there was no reason for the spike of jealousy that followed, however their worry for each other was a stark reminder of his place here. He was glad Kala was too upset to catch on his emotions.
“Kala, love, it’s fine. I am fine,” Rajan’s voice was calm, not a trace of resentment behind his words. Wolfgang longed to be on the other side of such gentleness. “I asked for this. I need to learn to defend my family, right?”
When Rajan said family, he meant Kala, yet he still took a moment to look at Wolfgang with soft eyes. Wolfgang wished he didn’t, it stirred something in his chest he was determined to ignore. Rajan was in love with Kala, not him. Kala, not him. Wolfgang was the price to pay for Kala’s love. He was fine with being nothing more than a stepping stone in their road to being happily married.
“I can’t believe I knocked you out,” Kala whispered, full of remorse.
“Come on, help me up.”
“Rajan, maybe—”
“Kala. It’s okay. I’ll take it slow. I just want to go to bed.”
They made their way to the bedroom in the same way they’d done many times before, if not in a rush this time. Rajan lied on the middle of the bed and patted the bed on both his sides. Wolfgang’s heart ached for Rajan to mean it, to want him the same way he wanted Kala, to be deserving of that soft gaze that made him look so beautiful in the warm light casted by the lamps.
Kala was quick to shed her jeans and snuggle next to her husband, resting her head on his chest. Wolfgang stood there for a moment, taking in the way the two of them fit together. The months he had spent with them felt like more he could’ve ever bargained off the fates. Maybe it was time to let them go, to finish his business in Berlin alone. Maybe it was time to break his own heart before it was irreversible.
Noticing his hesitation, Rajan asked gently, so gently, in fact, his resolve crumbled. “Wolfgang, are you alright?”
He nodded and settled on the bed, his arm wrapped around Rajan’s waist, brushing Kala’s. It felt right, the way he sometimes felt Lito’s overflowing love for his own partners, as if the pieces of the puzzle finally made a recognizable shape.
Wolfgang could pretend he could have this —whatever this was— one more night.