into stars we float

The stage lights went dark and the members of Heartsteel came down the stage in a line. Aphelios was the first to reach Rakan and Xayah, bumping his fist against Xayah’s and nodding in Rakan’s direction. He went to the catering table and grabbed a bottle of water before making it back to them.

After Ezreal quickly kissed Xayah’s cheek on his way to the food and Yone gave them a smile, Rakan watched Sett come down the stairs with his arm around Kayn, K’sante trailing behind them laughing at their antics. Once Sett spotted them, his entire face brightened, making Rakan smile involuntarily.

“My loves! Did you enjoy the show?”

Sett kissed Xayah, a long, drawn out thing that got wolf whistles and catcalls from the other Heartsteel members. When they pulled apart, Xayah looked a little flushed and she gave Sett a playful shove in Rakan’s direction. When Sett kissed him, Rakan heard one of the guys groan in the background, followed by K’sante’s “I cannot believe there are three –three!– people in here sleeping with this guy and I’m single.”

Rakan and Sett pulled apart, looking at each other for a moment that felt eternal. “God, not the lovey dovey eyes again,” added K’sante.

Without taking his eyes from Rakan, Sett said, “you know you wish you’d get a piece of this.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Rakan saw K’sante make a face at Sett, to which he replied with a grin of his own. He gave Aphelios a quick kiss on his way to the catering table and ate an entire Club sandwich in three bites.

“Sexy,” said Xayah, sarcasm dripping from the word.

“I know,” said Rakan, his voice fond.

“You guys got any plans for tonight?” asked Yone, balancing a camera and two bottles of water in his arms.

“Yep,” Rakan said, popping the final ‘p’ obnoxiously.

“We do?” asked Sett, mouth full of chips.

“We do,” confirmed Xayah. “Whenever you’re ready, Sett.”

Aphelios slid his headphones down to his shoulders and said, “can someone tell Alune we’ll be back tomorrow? On time for the photoshoot, I promise.”

“Phel? You knew about this?” Sett asked.

All Aphelios did was give him one of his mysterious smiles.

They left the venue in one of the Heartsteel vans. Usually, the band stayed behind to sign autographs and take pictures with fans, but tonight Xayah ushered Sett and Aphelios out of a side door directly into a vehicle. Their driver asked where they were going and Aphelios gave him an address. Luckily, no one counted on Rakan to remember that kind of thing. Sett, for his part, was looking out the window at the street lights, the glow of the night making him look dreamy. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“Why do you want to ruin the surprise?” asked Rakan.

“Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be? See if I —”

“Sett,” Xayah warned, nodding in the direction of the driver. Though his bandmates knew about Sett’s relationship and their situation, it was not public. How to explain their relationship without putting a target on their back? Sett and Aphelios already had to sit down through a meeting with their label when they found out they were together. They were told to keep it strictly out of the public eye. Apparently, they couldn’t afford to antagonize their fanbase while on tour nor could they afford to lose fans who stopped seeing them as available.

Rakan understood such was the life of new artists everywhere, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. Xayah’s little warning was nothing if not a reminder that the four of them going on a date like any normal group of people who were dating was near impossible. Especially after the paparazzi caught them leaving the arcade together a couple of months ago.

Sett shook his head, then turned his attention to the street. Rakan valiantly resisted the urge to grab his hand and kiss his knuckles. Luckily, they soon arrived at the condo they rented for the night. Aphelios was the first to get out of the van, then Rakan, who immediately turned around to offer his hand to Xayah as she came out. She rolled her eyes at him, but took his hand anyway, a smile playing at her lips. Because he was a gentleman, he waited until she was on the sidewalk to let go of her hand, then offered Sett his hand, who raised an eyebrow at him.

“Come on, Sett.”

“Do I look like I need help?”

“Does Xayah?” Rakan asked in return.

“Fair enough,” Sett said, grabbing his hand and jumping out of the van. He let go of Rakan’s hand too soon for his liking, but he knew it was the way it was supposed to be for now. Maybe the way it’d always be.

Instead of lingering on those thoughts, Rakan followed his partners into the condo, closing the door behind him with a little more force than necessary and leaning against it, as if to keep the whole world at bay. He didn’t notice he closed his eyes until Xayah came over and touched his shoulder.

“Everything okay?”

Rakan nodded. “Sometimes I wish the world didn't know us, that’s all.”

“I get it. Me too,” she said, taking his hand. She pulled him to her and Rakan went willingly, knowing he would go anywhere Xayah took him. “Let’s go. Our boyfriend awaits.”

Rakan smiled, his mood brightening at the prospect of getting to spend a whole night with his people. It wasn’t often that their schedules allowed them more than a couple of days uninterrupted, and when Heartsteel was on tour it was even worse. He vowed to keep sadness out of tonight’s menu.

Sett had gone directly to the bedroom, and Rakan heard him say “oh my god, guys?”

When Xayah and Rakan caught up with him, they saw him standing next to the big bed covered in rose petals. Xayah insisted it was cheesy, but Rakan was nothing if not a romantic. He reached for the box of chocolates on the bedside table and gave it to Sett with a flourish.

“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” Sett said. He opened the box and popped a chocolate in his mouth, then took another one and offered it to Rakan.

“This is your birthday gift,” said Rakan, making an effort not to sink his teeth into the chocolate in front of his face.

“And if I know you at all, you’re dying to try these.”

Rakan smiled lovingly, sure that his face betrayed the depths of his affections. He gave in and bit into the chocolate Sett offered him, unable to keep himself from moaning. That was some good quality chocolate.

“There’s a pool upstairs,” said Xayah. “Do you wanna go for a swim?”

“This place is perfect. How did you find it?” asked Sett, taking his t-shirt off.

Xayah hummed appreciatively, while Rakan tried not to stare. He knew he wasn’t successful when Sett winked at him.

“It was Aphelios’ idea,” replied Xayah.

For his part, Aphelios was smiling at them leaning on the bedroom door frame. When Sett turned to him, a question on his face, Aphelios just shrugged.

“What are we waiting for?” asked Sett. “The pool awaits.”

Upstairs, the pool area was covered with orange balloons, some have even drifted into the pool itself. To the side, there was a white table with Sett’s favorite snacks and some drinks to share. Sadly, non-alcoholic, per Alune’s —Sett and Aphelios’ manager— rules. They weren’t allowed to show up hungover, no birthday exceptions for anyone.

When Sett didn't speak for the longest time, Rakan asked, “what do you think? Is this okay?”

“I– It’s just– guys, this is so much,” he said.

Xayah and Rakan exchanged a glance, an entire conversation in just a few seconds. She asked, “in a good way?”

“The best way,” Sett replied, smiling wide. Aphelios took his hand and Rakan watched as Sett leaned down to kiss him. They kissed long and hard, an entire conversation held in that kiss. Then Sett turned to Rakan and kissed him as well. It was just a press of the lips, but it made all the nerves in Rakan’s body fire up. When Sett pulled away, he followed, quickly kissing him one more time. 

Rakan saw the glint in Xayah’s eyes when Sett turned to her, crossing the distance in a couple of strides, then lifting her up by the waist. She held his face and kissed him deeply, until they dissolved in giggles and Sett put her down.

“Come on,” Xayah called, kicking her shoes away. She quickly shimmied out of her pants and took her t-shirt off, throwing them away. “Last one to jump sleeps in the middle tonight.”

Rakan watched as she jumped, closely followed by Sett, who laughed as he splashed in her direction. He looked over at Aphelios, who had just stripped down to his underwear. “We’re making Sett sleep in the middle tonight, aren’t we?”

Aphelios didn’t wait for his answer and jumped into the pool. He quickly stripped, but his clothes still got wet from Aphelios’ splash. Rakan took a moment to watch his family playing in the pool, laughing out loud, happy. Warmth spread through him as unbridled joy filled every inch of his body.

Rakan jumped into the pool and swam to them, feeling on top of the world. 

“Best birthday ever!” yelled Sett, cheerful.

The outside world could not reach them here. This moment was theirs and theirs alone and Rakan would be damned if he didn’t allow himself to enjoy it. He let the laughs of his partners wash over him, convinced that it was the best sound in the whole world.