Another shot on the table, another handrolled cigarette in her mouth. Sevika reaches for her lighter when Felicia drops on the seat in front of her, drink in hand, and her easy smile is as bright as it ever gets. Good news then. Maybe Vander has finally figured out what their next move is going to be, how to make Zaun happen sooner rather than later. Felicia is one of their most committed fighters; Sevika hasn’t met anyone who can rally so many people from so many different backgrounds behind one cause. When Felicia speaks, the world listens. Or at least, Sevika listens.
Sevika lights her cigarette, taking a long drag before Felicia speaks.
“I’m knocked up,” she says with a shrug, the corner of her mouth in a grimace, as if she couldn’t believe those words were coming out of her mouth.
Sevika puts the cigarette out on the side of her glass and glances around The Last Drop, looking for any unfriendly ears, but she sees no one. At the bar, Vander laughs as he pours another drink to a client. Cautiously, she asks, “What do you want to do about it?”
Felicia laughs, then takes a big gulp from her drink. “I’ve made my peace with it.”
After a moment of awkward silence, Sevika says, “congratulations.”
“Don’t look so thrilled about it.”
She’s not thrilled about it, so why would she look the part? Sevika wasn’t a hopeless romantic —-that shit was impossible when you’d seen the deepest parts of the Undercity fight for a hit of whatever was hot at the moment— yet she hoped… She doesn’t know what she hoped for. It’s not like Felicia ever gave her anything to go on really, she fell into this… this thing on her own and now it’s her responsibility to get out.
“Have you told Connol?” she asks instead.
“Not yet.” She lazily draws circles on the rim of her glass, deep in thought. “I don’t know where to start.”
“I’m pretty sure he knows how it happened, Licia,” Sevika says, forcing a grin on her face. She drinks her shot and slams the glass on the table. “Have you told those two?”
She doesn’t need to clarify who, there’s only two other people Felicia cares about in the Undercity, her partners in crime, the heralds of the revolution, founding fathers of Soon-To-Be-Zaun. Sevika doesn’t remember a time where the three-headed creature they are wasn’t the powerhouse it has become.
“What? Those two bozos? Yeah, just before we opened today. You’re the only other person who knows, so if Connol finds out, I know exactly whose asses I’m kicking.”
Sevika mimes closing her lips then throwing away the key. Felicia laughs, loud and… happy. She knows now that as long as Felicia is happy, Sevika can learn to live with a love story that never was.
The smoke hasn’t dissipated yet and her lungs are screaming for her to get out of there, to leave the bridge as soon as possible, but something is pulling her towards the worst of it.
From afar, she sees Vander’s broad back walking towards two kids. No one has to tell Sevika those are Felicia’s kids, Vander’s priority would be getting them to safety in case… in case…
Sevika takes off at a run just as Violet collapses to the floor crying. Vander picks Powder up, then reaches a hand towards Violet. The child sobs but stands up, in a display of Felicia’s resilience that sends a stab through her heart. Vander spots her and shakes his head, walking away from the bridge with the children in tow.
She needs to see it for herself, so she walks carefully towards the place where Vander stood a moment before. The worst part of it all is not the smell of her blood that confirms she’s gone, but her face slack and expressionless, her eyes glazed over, not a trace of her trademark happiness or her easy smile.
Sevika swallows the sob that threatens to rise to the surface and focuses on helping the survivors back to the Undercity, but there’s a black hole in her chest where her heart used to be, her heart that lies lifeless on the Bridge of Progress.
Silco has it coming, in Sevika’s opinion. Choking the life out of him is the least he deserves after that failed operation for freedom that took so many people’s lives. Sevika hears somewhere that the fucker survived Vander’s attack and she considers going after him, she even finds herself stalking him a couple of times after having one too many drinks. But during those nights, she realizes one thing: Silco is not only mourning Zaun, he’s mourning Felicia and Connol and Jackie and Gray and every single one of the people who died on that bridge.
In a way, living with that pain will be its own payback.
The enforcers coming down to the Lanes are the last straw for her. Vander isn’t willing to fight and she won’t stand impassively while the Undercity is abused and taken advantage of any longer. She’s tired and angry and ready to risk it all. Sevika isn’t surprised when she ends up on Silco’s door, knocking with enough force to throw the door down.
“Silco!” she yells.
One of his lackeys opens the door, a tall, wide man whose face is covered in tattoos. Sevika doesn’t know his name, but she’s seen him around. She nods in his direction and walks to the back where she knows Silco will be.
The man doesn’t look up until she’s standing right in front of his big desk, and when he does, he puts on a fake smile.
“Have you finally made up your mind, Sevika?”
“I’m not doing this for you,” she says.
“I know. You’re doing it for her.” Sevika gets her lighter out of her pocket and lights up a cigarette, motioning Silco to continue. “You think I never noticed? One would have to blind to miss the signs.”
Sevika blows a puff of smoke in his direction. “What does it matter to you?”
“Contrary to popular belief, Felicia was my friend as well.”
“You were quick to disappear when your friends were being shot at the bridge if I recall correctly,” she flicks the ashes in his direction, then takes another drag. “One wonders how strong that conviction was when—”
“Whatever you’re about to say, save it. You want to fight, I’ll give you something to fight for.”
“I don’t need any motivation more than making the topsiders pay.”
Silco smiles. “Well, I hope that’s enough.”
Sevika wakes up when the pain shooting up her shoulder and all the way up her face becomes unbearable. She grinds her teeth and tries to sit up, but her body doesn’t comply. Her memories are fuzzy after the explosion, but she knows she’s back in the Undercity by the distinct light filtering through the window. She squints at it until her eyes get used to the glow and inspects her surroundings.
The place is empty of everyone but Silco sitting on a chair and a little girl sobbing as she grabs his arm.
Not any little girl.
Powder clings to his arm, while Silco occasionally pets her hair. Sevika doesn’t know how long she stares, but eventually, Silco looks up at her, his face blank.
“You lost the arm, but you’ll live,” he says.
Sevika’s heart beats faster remembering the blue explosion and how she risked her life to save the man in front of her. She’s not even sure why she did it, unless the voice at the back of her head saying he’s the last hope for a free Zaun is right. There’s a vulgar reply at the tip of her tongue, but instead, she focuses on the strangest part of the situation at hand.
“Why is she here?” she asks.
“Her sister abandoned her.”
Sevika doubts that. She has seen Vi and Powder together before: for all their snarling, they love each other and you’d never see one without the other. Sevika raises her eyebrow in a question.
“Marcus will take care of it,” says Silco. Gritting her teeth, Sevika nods. After a moment that feels long and charged, he continues. “Vander’s gone. The Lanes are in chaos, I will be needed there soon.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because someone needs to watch her.”
Belatedly, Sevika realizes Silco means Powder, Felicia’s daughter.
“No.”
“I’m not asking,” he says, standing up. Powder looks up at him with the eyes of a baby animal who’s imprinted on the nearest available human. Unconsciously, Sevika finds herself looking for Felicia in her, but the pain coursing through her body prevents her from it.
“Powder, this is Sevika. I’ll be back tonight, so stay by her side, okay? She will protect you.”
“No, no, please don’t go,” she begs.
“It’s only for a couple of hours. I promise to be back as soon as I can,” Silco says.
When he leaves, the little girl comes to sit at the edge of the bed. Sevika shakes her head and starts thinking about what she’ll do to get rid of the girl. Then Powder curls up by her feet, hugging her legs to her body in an attempt to make herself as small as possible. She sniffles for a long time, until at some point, silence falls in the room as she falls asleep.
Resilient little bug. Sevika can’t stop her mind from conjuring an image of Felicia asleep at The Last Drop, after everyone has gone home and Vander is cleaning down the bar while Silco balances the books. Sevika was always one of the last ones to leave, if only because she got a reason to hang out with her, to feel part of something, to hopelessly dream of being the one Felicia came home to.
But Felicia is gone now, all that’s left of their Zaun dream is shrapnel and pain. And a daughter. A daughter whose fate could one day include the nation of Zaun.
Sevika sighs and sinks into the bed.
In a way, Felicia and her nation of Zaun live on.