“So, what are we trying today?” Lito asks, visiting next to her.
Sun places the takeout containers on the table with care, methodically unwrapping the foil to uncover the food. When she visits Lito, Sun notices the first signs of gray in the horizon that announce the break of dawn. He’s alone, in his pajamas, taking a tray out of something out of the oven. Once again, he’s easing his anxiety in the kitchen with something more complicated than their little reunion calls for.
Iberian Dreams premieres in 2 days and Lito’s worries have reached levels previously unseen in the man. He’s sleeping less, cooking more, and nervously checking his phone every 5 minutes. He puts the hot tray on top of the stove and cleans his hands before reaching for said phone.
“I thought the point was not checking that for a while,” Sun says as she uncovers her hot food.
Sun doesn’t cook. Sure, she can cook something for herself if needed, but she prefers takeout on most nights. Ever since Kwon-ho entered her life though, she hardly cooks because he’s happy to cook food for both of them. Sometimes he’ll even meal prep traditional Korean food for her.
“There’s no need to spend that much money on food,” he’ll say.
Sun will roll her eyes at him, but when he turns around to put another tupperware of banchan in the fridge she’ll hide her smile doing something else.
Tonight, he’s working a night shift and Sun feels obligated to indulge in some hearty takeout from the place down the street.
The last three weeks have been very interesting in Lito’s life. He’s had interviews and promotional photoshoots that usually would have him over the moon. This time though, he’s become more and more anxious the closer they get to his movie premiere. Tomorrow, he has to travel to Utah to make an appearance at Sundance over the weekend. It’s the first time one of his movies has been in a festival this important, and this will be the first of many festivals he has to attend over the year.
Sun does not understand the hype, but she still feels Lito’s nervous anticipation. It’s Lito’s job to appear in front of the cameras, Sun doesn’t feel anxious when she has to speak at a shareholder’s meeting, even if they all look at her as if she’s below them somehow. She knows her father never had to deal with this, but she takes it, knowing she’ll never earn their trust but that she will be damned if she lets Joon-gi sink her father’s legacy with his crimes.
Lito, on the other hand, has been in front of the cameras long enough that this nervous fit should be over by now. He said it himself: this is his dream. Why is it something to be afraid of?
He’s serving himself a plate and says, “Sun, it’s different this time. This isn’t like my previous movies. This is a Hollywood film.”
Sun rolls her eyes and takes her chopsticks, but she doesn’t start eating just yet, waiting for Lito to finish fussing over his plate until it’s perfect. When he’s done, she looks at his plate and admits to herself that it looks beautiful and delicious.
“Enchiladas rojas. From scratch,” he says with a flourish.
A couple of weeks ago, Lito appeared next to her while she ate and became obsessed with the idea of trying everyone’s favorite foods in the cluster. Once he was done, he decided that Sun’s and Capheus’ foods were the best, and as such, he needed to sample them further. Today is Sun’s turn to provide a dish, while Lito cooks something in exchange. Sun has to admit that he’s a good cook and that Mexican food has one of the most interesting flavor profiles she’s ever tried. Most importantly: Lito likes spicy food, so Sun can always trust him to come up with something she’ll enjoy.
“Looks good. What does it have?”
“Well, these are made with a pulled pork filling and some queso fresco to balance the spice,” he explains.
She digs into his plate, getting a hearty piece of everything and tastes the rich, spicy dish. As per usual, it’s not the same as eating, it feels more like the memory of something she’s eaten before, but the sensation is strong enough to pull her into Lito’s body, tasting exactly what he tastes. It’s not just the chilli or the seasoned meat, but the memories of his mother and home.
“It’s good,” Sun says, opening her eyes. She didn’t realize she was that lost in the sensations that she closed her eyes, but it’s not surprising. Their connection is strong enough now to overwhelm her sometimes.
“Okay, what about you?” he says, excitedly visiting next to her. He’s vibrating in his seat as Sun picks up some of the stew in her chopsticks.
“Kimchi jiggae. From the store down the street, I’m not making food from scratch this late,” she says.
Sun feels the moment Lito shares her body, the surreal image of seeing herself take a bite when she’s not entirely there. However, the moment she bites into the tofu, the burst of flavor is enough to make her feel herself again. The sharpness of the kimchi underneath it all gives the stew an edge that she’s always loved. Lito hums in appreciation.
“Tangy and spicy. I like it,” he says. “I’m guessing kimchi and tofu… what else?”
“Pork, vegetables, probably ungodly amounts of gochugaru.”
Lito takes another bite of Sun’s stew, this time catching some meat and veggies. “It’s delicious. You’re very lucky to live somewhere where the food is this good.”
“So are you,” Sun counters, unsure of where Lito is going with that.
They eat in silence for a while, until Lito drops his forks with a clang.
“Do you think people will like the film?” he asks, resting his chin on his hands. “Be honest. I know you won’t lie to me.”
Suddenly, all the pieces fall into place. Lito is looking for reassurance, but he doesn’t want empty platitudes or coddling. Sometimes, Sun wonders how Lito and her fit in the cluster, but this is one of those moments where no one else would be fit to give an honest answer that manages to be encouraging all the same. Her cluster is too protective for that.
“I do not know,” she starts. “Do you like the film?”
“Like? Sun, this is the best thing I’ve done in my life. I’ve never been in a project as challenging or fulfilling.”
“Does it matter then? What the public thinks?”
“Does it matter?” Lito asks, incredulously. “I put my heart and soul into this project. If it fails, it’ll be the end of my life.”
“It won’t be. You have a family that loves you and accepts you. You've made connections that will last a lifetime.” After a moment, she decides to add, “and you have us, who will support you no matter what.
“You’re scared because this is it, the moment you’ve been waiting your whole life. Your dream is coming true and that’s terrifying. But that’s true of anything worth having.”
Lito stays silent, pushing his enchiladas around with his fork, as if he’s not convinced.
“The film is excellent, Lito. I don’t think I’d ever cried with a movie before,” Sun says.
He looks up at that. “You cried? When?”
“The proposal was really emotional,” she says, a little defensive.
“No, I mean, when did you watch it?” he presses.
“The screening of the first cut. We were all there cheering you on.”
Lito frowns. “I didn’t notice.”
“You were too busy biting your nails to notice.”
Lito’s frown smooths over, replaced by his easy smile. “You’ll come to the premiere?”
With an all too fake tired sigh, she says “if you want me to.”
“I do. I want you to.”
Sun nods in agreement and digs into her stew. They finish eating in companionable silence, Lito’s anxiety levels the lowest they’ve been in weeks. The whole cluster thanks her later for handling the situation.