Truth be told, Wolfgang missed Berlin when he wasn't there. Not because there was anything wrong with Mumbai, but because Berlin was his city, his home. It was his mother's home before and as long as he had that, he had strings pulling him towards Berlin.
Felix was happy anywhere, Wolfgang had noticed. Because Wolfgang had followed Kala and Rajan to Mumbai, Felix had come with him. They had agreed they would split their time between Mumbai and Berlin because neither of them wanted to completely abandon the city that saw them go through so much together. Felix, however, had taken to his new status as Rajan's sugar baby as if the world was ending.
(Felix wasn't really Rajan's sugar baby. Rajan loved giving gifts to his people —and Felix, as an extension of Wolfgang, had become one of Rajan's people— and Felix loved living as a rich man. It was a win-win situation.)
For his part, Wolfgang was still getting accustomed to this new… situation with Rajan. It didn't have a name yet, but, as far as Felix was concerned, they were in a relationship.
Wolfgang, who had never lasted in a relationship more than a couple of nights, was in a relationship with two other people.
Now that was something for the history books.
Still, it wasn't like Rajan and Wolfgang called it that. Sure, the three of them slept together most nights, Rajan made breakfast for Kala and Wolfgang, and they even kissed each other goodbye. They hadn't talked about it though.
Kala hadn't said anything about it either. All she did was smile at them every time Rajan and Wolfgang acted like a couple. And sometimes, she would get in the middle of them and distract them with sex before leaving for work. It was beautiful.
The thoughts of Kala summoned her presence beside him. "We miss you too," she said.
"What do you know about Rajan when he's not with you right now?" Wolfgang asked.
Felix turned to him. "Is that for me or for your wife?"
"She's not my—"
Wolfgang's phone rang then. He got it out of his pocket and frowned at the screen. "What's wrong, Raj?" he answered.
Rajan chuckled on the other side of the line. "Why would something need to be wrong for me to call you? It's not like perhaps I want to know how your flight was."
Wolfgang's insides felt warmer at that. "My flight was fine," he said. "Even if Felix snored the whole flight from Istanbul."
"I did not!" Felix said in his loudest Hindi. Felix was learning Hindi to woo women in Mumbai. So far, as many as seven women had fallen for his clunky accent. Wolfgang could not believe how easily Felix had settled into his millionaire fuckboy persona. Still, underneath it all, he was still Felix. He switched to German when he added, "I couldn't sleep because you became chatty all of a sudden. I always forget how much you hate flying until we do this again. Your panicked chatter proved to be difficult to ignore, fuckface."
Rajan, who heard this exchange through the phone, asked with a smile to his voice, "were you scared?"
"Fucking turbulence," Wolfgang replied. After a moment he added, "how are things?"
"Things?" Rajan echoed.
"You know, meetings in Delhi or whatever."
Kala laughed at that. "You know full well he's in Chennai to close a major deal, Wolfgang."
"Delhi, Chennai, what does it matter if he's not home?" Wolfgang asked. When Kala smiled and Felix raised an eyebrow at him, Wolfgang quickly added, "someone's got to watch your back at those stakeholders meetings, Kala."
Kala made a face that left no doubts about what she thought about stakeholders meetings.
"Is Kala there?" Rajan asked.
"She's not here," Wolfgang said, sounding more grumpy than he would like to admit.
"You know what I mean."
With a sigh, Wolfgang said, "yeah, she is visiting."
"My love," he started. Wolfgang tried not to feel butterflies at that. "Is Wolfgang okay?"
When Kala didn't reply immediately, Wolfgang peeked at where she was holed up in her office and saw her pick up the phone to text Rajan.
A moment later, Rajan's call disconnected, and a group video call was started by Kala. Wolfgang picked up. "We can facetime without a phone, Kala."
Rajan's face appeared on the screen below. "Yes, this is much better," he said.
Wolfgang smiled at Rajan's disheveled hair. He was lounging on the sofa of an otherwise sparsely decorated hotel room. Kala also smiled at him. "Hello, my husband."
Wolfgang fought the urge to echo the same words. "How is Chennai?" he asked instead.
"Well, they invited me for drinks after the signing."
"Are you drunk right now?" Wolfgang teased.
"Not nearly enough," groaned Rajan.
"At least you don't have to deal with Amil today," Kala said. "Next time R&D needs a budget meeting, you will be present, Rajan."
"But you're doing so well in my absence," said Rajan. "Perhaps, you should run this company, my love."
"Don't you dare leave this to me, Rajan."
Wolfgang felt his heart beat faster seeing Kala and Rajan's playful banter. Felix made a whip sound at him.
"Fuck off," said Wolfgang, pushing him to the side.
"Hey, don't ruin the jacket!" Felix protested.
They walked through the exit and Wolfgang focused back on the call. "We're just leaving the airport," said Wolfgang.
"Will you call us when you get there?" Kala asked.
"You should be working," Wolfgang answered.
"Just a quick call to know no one murdered you on the way to your apartment," said Kala.
"Is that a possibility?" Rajan asked, panic slipping into his voice.
"No," said Wolfgang just as Kala and Felix said yes!
"Wolfgang—"
"Fuchs is over his stupid crush. Probably. He doesn't give a shit about me anymore. Berlin's been quiet lately."
"Is that good?" Rajan asked.
"We'll see," said Wolfgang, walking behind Felix to grab a taxi. Wolfgang would much rather ride the S-Bahn, but Felix has his own Rajan-issued credit card and he was not afraid to use it.
"That's not really comforting, Wolfgang," Rajan said with a frown.
"It'll be fine."
They got into the cab and Felix gave the driver instructions to get to their shared condo near Jannowitzbrücke station. When Felix and Wolfgang followed the Rasals to India, they sold their shitty apartments and pooled their money to buy a nice place. Wolfgang would have stayed in his apartment, but Felix refused to step a foot on that piece of shit as he called it. Felix chose the place and Wolfgang had to recognize that the apartment was beautiful and spacious and that it was a great upgrade from their previous homes. Still, Wolfgang hadn't gotten used to making the trip by taxi to his new place.
"Wolfgang?" Kala called and he realized he'd been staring out the taxi window, entranced by the way the highway gave way to the city.
"Yeah?"
"I miss you," Kala said. "I miss Rajan as well. This is not going to be an easy night."
"You know I'm just a call away," said Rajan.
Wolfgang touched his temple and said, "so am I."
"It's not the same," Kala pouted. Wolfgang wanted to tease her about it, but he would love to sleep in her bed when he went back to Mumbai.
"I miss you too," Rajan said. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "I miss both of you."
Wolfgang's heart pounded faster. Rajan and Wolfgang didn't usually address their… thing with direct words. This was an acknowledgement of what they had that felt bigger than it probably was.
"I miss you too," Wolfgang admitted. "Both of you."
Felix, of course, could not deal with their romantic bullshit for even a second. After a gagging sound, he said, "Christ, you have been apart 24 hours. Get a fucking grip."
Wolfgang knew he had to, the way his face revealed too much was, frankly, disgusting.
"See if I let you take me shopping," Wolfgang tlold his friend.
"Fuck you, Wolfie. You owe me a good shopping trip. Your treat."
"More like Rajan's," Wolfgang chimed in.
"He loves it," Felix said. Then in his choppy Hindi, he added, "don't you love it Rajan?"
"I do," Rajan said using his recently polished German. Rajan was way better at it than Felix was at Hindi. Sexier too. "I really do. I'm happy you two are happy. If it means shopping, then so be it."
Wolfgang quickly hid his smile behind his hand, but he was sure Rajan saw his dopey grin anyway. In an attempt to save face, he said, in Hindi, "Felix needs to learn impulse control. You are spoiling him too much."
"Well, I love doing it," Rajan insisted. "Perhaps I should have come with you to make sure you're properly pampered the whole trip."
"Aw," Felix said, "that sounds disgustingly like a date. Pass."
Wolfgang smiled at Rajan. "Perhaps next time I bring you two instead of Felix."
"Hey!"
"Deal," said Kala and Rajan almost simultaneously.
He glanced up and noticed they were in the city proper now. Perhaps not much longer until he had to hang up. Wolfgang's heart ached. He wished he could keep this line to them forever.
Someone knocked on Kala's door and she looked away from the camera. "I have to go," she said.
"Okay. Call me when you're free," said Rajan.
"Visit whenever," added Wolfgang. Kala blew them a kiss goodbye and disconnected. Rajan's face took up the whole screen now for Wolfgang. The man looked beautiful and he desperately wanted to reach out and smooth down his disheveled hair.
"So…" Wolfgang started.
"So…"
There was a moment of silence where neither said anything, they just looked at each other with matching loving smiles.
"Christ alive!" Felix pushed his sunglasses up his hair, then took Wolfgang's phone and said in furious Hindi. "Raj, Wolfgang will call you later. Say goodbye, Rajan."
"Goodbye, Wolfgang," echoed the man.
"Wolfie?" Felix pushed.
"Goodbye, Raj," Wolfgang said in English.
Felix disconnected the video call before any of them could say anything else.
Back in his native tongue, Felix asked, "how long are you gonna keep pretending you're not in love with him? Everyone fucking knows."
Wolfgang frowned. "Who's everyone?"
"You, me, and the people in your head."
Wolfgang glanced at the driver, but the man couldn't give less of a shit about their conversation.
"Cut it out."
"Wolfie, we all got eyes, man. In some cases, they have a direct line to your fucking brain."
Wolfgang thought about it. Did everyone else know? Perhaps they did, but Rajan didn't, and he didn't have to find out.
"Saying you miss him is not the end of the world," Felix added, softer this time.
Wolfgang looked away. "I miss Kala."
"And you don't care about Rajan at all or…?"
"I never said that."
"So you do care about him," Felix said, his smug smile back on.
Wolfgang saw the trap he had fallen into way too late. "I—"
"It's okay, Wolfie. We don't have to talk about feelings—"
"Fuck off."
"—but it doesn't mean you can't say you miss them both. Jesus. You're an asshole without your people."
"They're not my—" but his words got stuck in his throat. He would be lying if he said he didn't consider them his something.
Silence thickened inside the cab as they made a left turn that brought them to their apartment. Felix gave the taxi driver a 100 Euros and got out just as the taxi came to a stop. He went to the back to get their bags and Wolfgang watched him in the rear view mirror. Eventually, he told the driver to keep the change and followed Felix into the building.
Once they were in the elevator, Wolfgang spoke again. "It's just— it's complicated."
"When is it not with you?" Felix teased.
"They're married," Wolfgang said, as if it was obvious why they couldn't be together.
"So? They're both mad about you."
"They're n—"
"Don't you dare say they're not. They would kill for you, Wolfgang. They have."
Wolfgang knew what Felix meant, still he said, "Rajan wouldn't hurt a fly."
"Perhaps not physically. He could end them with his lawyers though." As the doors opened on the fifth floor, Felix put his hand on the doors to stop them for Wolfgang. "For what is worth, I think it's kinda hot."
"You don't."
"I do. I like a man who has the world at the palm of his hand."
Wolfgang opened the door to their apartment and said, "Rajan can never be found out. He would lose everything."
"So? You come live in Berlin then. I thought nothing was impossible for the voices in your head."
Wolfgang smiled at that. Nothing seemed impossible when he had them by his side. Still, he tried to push against it one last time. "Raj doesn't feel that way about me."
"If you really think that, then you're fucking blind, man. I get that you're scared, but if you don't say something about it, he's gonna get the wrong idea. And then things will truly be complicated."
Felix dropped their bags by the sofa and said, "I'm fucking dead, Wolfie. I'll take a nap. We'll go fuck with Fuch's fucks later tonight."
Wolfgang just nodded, took his bag from the floor and went to his room. After closing the door and taking his jacket off, he called Rajan.
For once, he could use his words.
Rajan picked up on the third ring. "Is everything okay?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice," he said earnestly.
"Oh, okay. Hi."
"Hi."
A moment passed in silence where neither dared to say another word.
"Wish you were here," said Wolfgang in the end.
"Me too," answered Rajan. "Perhaps next time."
"Next time," Wolfgang agreed.
"So, uh, do you want to hear about the signing?" Rajan asked.
Wolfgang smiled. "Tell me all about it."
Somewhere in the corner of his mind, Kala tried to hide a smile in the middle of a meeting. Wolfgang rolled his eyes at her before focusing his attention back on Rajan. The soft cadence of his voice left him wishing he could see the man. Instead, he listened intently as his lover told him all about his day.